What Are Family Constellations - Orders Of Love

Family Constellations is a technique created by Bert Hellinger that is based on multigenerational analysis to approach problems, leading to Systemic Therapy.

Bert Hellinger’s work with Transactional Analysis extracts a multigenerational vision in the approach to problems and that leads him to Systemic Therapy. Going deeper he discovers the compensation systems used by family systems and develops what he called Orders of Love.

In the development of a Constellation, we stage the image of our family system by choosing representatives for the true members of our family in the Working Group. Where there is disturbance, the representative will manifest feelings, emotions and attitudes that will reveal the hidden links, the secrets, the rules and their breaches that regulate our family system.

Bert HellingerOrigin of Family Constellations

Bert Hellinger is the creator of Family Constellations. A German philosopher, theologian and pedagogue, he was a missionary for a Catholic order in South Africa for 16 years. Later he is trained in Psychoanalysis , Group Dynamics, Primary Therapy and Hypnotherapy . He also deals with Gestalt Therapy and NLP . From his work with Transactional Analysis , he extracts a multigenerational vision in the approach to problems and that leads him to Systemic Therapy. Going deeper he discovers the compensation systems used by family systems and develops what he called Orders of Love.

Many of our feelings, behaviors, and symptoms are not tied to our personal history, but are rooted in a family loyalty that wants a generation to resume the unregulated conflicts of previous generations.

Family Constellations allow us to shed light on these conflicts and repair them to free those who carry them.

Family Constellations Orders of Love

Bert Hellinger called the rules that regulate human systems, Orders of love . Order is above love in the same way that the channel leads to the river or the glass contains the water. Love only develops within order, thus being able to grow and prosper.

What are the three rules that regulate human systems

1. The belonging

All members of a family have the same right of belonging. It is a right that cannot be challenged. There is no higher or lower degree of belonging. The simple fact of our birth (I should even say conception) gives us a place in the family. Even our death cannot bring this belonging back into question.

2. The order

The systemic order respects the chronological order. Thus the fathers come before the sons. The first child comes before the second and so on. A first spouse keeps his or her place as first spouse, even if he or she is not already the current spouse. The “big ones” assume the responsibilities that return to them, children are just children, the older ones have rights and duties towards the younger ones.

3. The balance between give and take

Human relationships are balanced according to a fair exchange between give and take (or receive). The perpetuity of a relationship is conditioned by the equality of this exchange.

Between parents and children, the exchange is done differently: the parents give life to the child, the child receives the life of the parents from him. When the son becomes a father he will in turn give to his children, who will take. Thus, the exchange between parents and children is balanced since the debt of the children to their parents for the life received is so great that it is impossible to repay. In this way the balance is established.

And when we don’t have children?

So the important thing is to do something good with our lives that enriches our environment.

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